Allowing FEAR
We’ve all heard or read that we should be facing our fears. Without any tools to do as such, what does that even mean? In today’s culture, we’re being instructed to take an active stance against our fears. On the surface, it empowers us, but practically it’s an aggressive attack against an internal chemical reaction – because that’s what a fear is. It’s not an external object or an experience. We’re afraid of the feeling itself - we try to hide or even fight against it. What happens when two forces oppose each other? When we rebel against our fears, we create internal friction. We don’t want to feel afraid, but we do. So we don’t want to feel afraid EVEN MORE! Have you ever heard of someone not being afraid anymore just because they REALLY didn’t want to?
We become stronger not by overcoming fear, but by allowing it.
We live through it not by participating, but by observing.
We then come out the other end carrying knowledge, instead of scars.
After being a prisoner of fear and negativity throughout most of my life, I’ve learned to use an INTENSITY-TRACKING-SYSTEM. It’s helped me not just with potential insecurities, but with some of my deep-rooted beliefs that needed a re-evaluation. Once I feel a negative emotion such as fear arising, I:
1. try to take a step back and not judge the feeling (in terms of me wanting it or not),
2. notice the intensity curve of the emotion,
3. understand that once it reaches its peak, it’s not going to get any worse,
4. observe how it echoes out, until it fully disappears.
This intensity tracking system can be applied to all negative emotion. A changed perspective often offers more freedom.