Ask, not talk
Starting off honest - most people that know me would say that I talk a lot. What they probably don’t know, is the the reason why I do it. It’s not because I think that what I have to say is so damn interesting. It’s a long lasting habit of dealing with being a bit uneasy. In all actuality, it’s a silly defense mechanism to cope with how an imaginary spotlight impacts me. So a lot of times, even if I’m very interested in the person I was conversing with, I was the one that did most of the talking. Once I noticed this pattern, it started to get annoying. Probably not just to me, haha.
TALKING…
Continuing with honesty - I don’t believe I would have even noticed that I talk so much without first starting to meditate. It offered a wonderfully neutral space to get a sense of how my thoughts and internal reactions actually work. But most of all, it gave me to opportunity to start learning how to notice. Noticing seems like a banal simple thing to do, but it’s actually rather difficult, if you’re used to just hearing internal commotion. Doing any kind of change is impossible without a powder keg - mine was meditation.
STILL TALKING…
Finishing off honestly - I still talk a lot. But what I’ve learned, is to follow curiosity. I’m interested in people. So now I try to ask them things about them instead. It doesn’t always work. Sometimes I still get uneasy. But even having done just the first couple of steps, I see that the best direction in general is not to get caught up in oneself, but to move closer towards others.