Passions, Obsessions and Fighting Windmills
I was taught that I should pick a career that’d I’d be passionate about. And throughout the years, that concept somehow transformed into me thinking that I actually need to be obsessed with my work in order to get somewhere. But where is somewhere, actually? And can you really forcibly maintain an obsession? It took a long time for me to start sorting these questions out and by answering them, I began to realize that my way of approaching work wasn’t sustainable at all. It was even harmful. How is it that I haven’t noticed being in a downward spiral before?
At the same time, we’re all so focused on wanting the world back to the way it was. It seems as if the majority of human civilization has sunken it’s feet in the soil to prevent the corona winds from uprooting us and disturbing what we’ve built. »The world« though, may require way more work from you in order to reach your old, pre-covid »normal«. Is that a fight even worth having, at least on a personal level? I’ve come to realize that my sought-after normal, wasn’t that great to begin with. I was Don Quixote fighting windmills that I built for myself; kept on rebuilding them, making myself into a constant victim. It was all highly reactive and not proactive at all. I finally saw that I was stuck.
In more than a few ways, this past year has given a lot of us the opportunity to reflect on our relationships (to our health, work/job, our children, our partners, our friends, etc.). Shouldn’t you then review your newly found impressions and actively transform and grow in your little situational cocoon? Seeing your life mirrored back should be welcomed with open arms and cheer, as it gives you a push towards change. I for one am embracing the realizations that I’ve gained during this time: change is necessary. And it shouldn’t stop; gaining momentum is key.
I can now hear my own internal Sancho Panza
But I still fight windmills sometimes.
By contemplating on obsessions, I’ve found that healthy ones occur naturally. We should nurture those and always feed the curiosity surrounding them. A healthy obsession can fuel your passion. And the obsession that has accompanied me throughout my entire life, is space. Recently, I’ve decided to let my interest in space guide my passions more. So, am I going to be an astronaut? Ha, ha, definitely not! However, I AM going to proactively pursue finding better ways to do what I know and love (design and animation) with themes that I’m in awe of (space and science).
I still struggle with fighting windmills. But now, I feel, I’ve finally gained the ability to hear my internal Sancho Panza. Everybody has one. But you need to be really quiet in order to hear him. All the time, he’s there, in between your thoughts and worries, waiting for you to take a breath and listen. And a lot of times, sitting down and listening to yourself is enough.