Relinquish
It’s basically impossible for anyone to maintain everlasting internal control - attempts to do so constantly create friction within. It’s then completely natural when something cracks, the steam has to get out somewhere: chronic anger, depression, disease. But in the first place - by fighting against a thought, a feeling or an emotion, we recognize it as a »something«: as a power that needs to be fought against or controlled. We usually even start identifying with them strongly: I AM angry, I AM disappointed, I AM sad…
DON’T FIGHT.
In reality, emotions and thoughts are nothing - they are merely our body’s way to protect itself from external situations and evoked by our programmable subconscious. Many would argue that the subconscious is still »us«, and they wouldn’t be wrong. It undoubtedly steers us through most of our lives, but is it the decision making part? With practice we get to decide more.
JUST NOTICE.
Thoughts and emotions tend to dissolve on their own when we don’t identify with them or try to control them. They live out their lives and disappear, fully expressed, with no danger of piling up deep inside. So counterintuitively, the best way to get more »control« is to let go of attempts to control. Things are as they are. Until they aren’t anymore. The control lies in seeing them clearly.